Dad Update #3

We are on day 5. There has been no change. My dad remains about the same. There was a little bit of an attempt to wean him off of the ventilator yesterday but it didn't go well. No further testing to indicate where we are has been done at this time. Basically, it has been explained to me that we want to make sure we run the good race with him before we can consider anything else. There really isn't a timeline. We are just waiting for doctors to let us know one way or the other which way to go. According to them, it is still too early to tell.
So, in the meantime I'm camping out in Abilene. I've arranged for my little one to be put in daycare here while my two oldest go back to Katy with Toby. I'm staying at my great aunt's house. This is my new normal for awhile. Marcie, has to deal with going home everyday and not seeing my dad there. She asks herself the question, "Do I hang up his pants in the closet or not?" They've lived together for a little while. Her girls and his little dog, Paco Taco miss him greatly. I have a couple of messages from him on my answering machine that I just can't bring myself to listen to right now although I am really really missing his voice. Jamie is flying in from Alaska and will be here in a few hours.
When you hear the old saying, "Well, you just never know," well, it's true. You never know when it will be you. Noone ever said life would be easy. In fact at times it can be a little complicated. Almost like a labrynth's maze. I think it will be awhile til we get out of this maze.

Dad Update #2

There really hasn't been any change. His breathing became pretty hard tonight on the ventilator because he is very agitated yet under sedation. He was putting out a little too much CO2 at the time. The nurse asked that visitors be limited for the next several days. She says that people talking around his bed or touching him may over stimulate him at this time. It is essential that he rest before another checkup is made on Monday. If anyone comes to the hospital it is ok to sit in the room (2 at a time only) but we must remain quiet for now. This is very difficult as we all know what a talker my dad has been. He has never met a stranger. We are hoping to have him stabilized enough that he can undergo some tests on Monday that will give us some indication where we are with things. Unless there are any significant changes I won't update the blog until Monday evening. My dad has been blessed with some really good friends in this life. We are so thankful for that. We have one life....make it count. It doesn't have to be a grand spectacle...just make the things in your life that at the end of the day you know you absolutely value with your soul and not your purse strings count. Hug your family and even when you're crabby with those you love walk away, turn around and smile even if you don't want to at the time. They'll think you're crazy but you're just being unconditional.

Dad Update

It's hard to remember who I've given updates to and who I haven't about my dad. So, I just want to try to give sort of a daily or as I know any new details updates on a brief blog note as we go along.
Bascically, today we were under the impression that my dad would try to be weaned from the vent. Not necessarily because he is doing better but because they don't want him to become dependent on it. Unfortunately, today he was too weak to try to endure the stress of such a task. His heart is currently only pumping at 15 percent which is basically as low as a heart can go with functionality where he stands right now. He is under sedation and at this time the best course of action is to let his body rest to see if any improvements can be made as he recovers from cardiogenic shock. Basically, a bomb went off in his chest and waiting on the dust to settle to see what can be rehabilitated if any. There's lots of permanent damage after a bomb goes off but, sometimes there are things that can come back to life.
So, we sit and we wait and we go at my dad's pace right now. He has to be given the best chance he can get before any really educated prognosis can be made at this time with all variables to consider.
Thank you all for your love, your support, you prayers, thoughts and even some funny stories I've been hearing about my dad lately. If you know my dad then you know the kind of character he is. He's a fighter, a good man, a God loving man, a grandpa, a dad, a wisecrack, and stubborn (which is a good thing to be right now.) You really don't know how comforting it is to know that people are praying for him and our family. It shows community and the peace we all know about the human spirit that can love one another and is kind to one another.

Attn: Astronomers Complaint Department

I've decided that astronomers must have too much time on their hands. One day I am a Capricorn and the next I open the internet news to find I'm a Saggitarius! It's as if I've lived a lie all my life! Imagine waking up one day just to find out you are not who you thought you were.
Daylight savings time gives me a headache and makes me turn to fiber to re-regulate my life ;) As if that wasn't bad enough. Many people are confused enough on how to fill out their taxes, understand congress, using new techno gadgets ( that I cannot keep up with), how to download stuff on social media, and get through 5:oo traffic. As if life wasn't hectic enough some astronomer somewhere decided, hey, let's confuse the world out even more by changing their signs. Well, that just blows me away. I've had jewelry with my birthstone and have seen people where jewelry with their zodiac signs. I don't think jewlers are up to the task for exchanges and I think tattoo artists are going to have to get creative. I've heard several things...it only affects people from 2009 and forward and that might just be. So, now, anyone with my same birthday born since then will be a Saggitarius? How confused those children will be? I can hear it now, "Mommy, since you're a Capricorn...Why can't I be one too?" Then you look at your kid and say, "Well, again, life's not fair."
So, do me a favor astronomers. In a day and time where everyone is struggling enough with their identities in this galactical place called Earth, the next time you make a discovery that will affect possibly let's say, Orion's belt really being light saber...leave it alone. Walk away from the telescope and leave it alone. In the words of Jeff Foxworthy, "Here's your sign!"

Adieu My Good Friend the Camera

My camera died on Christmas morning :( I have since replaced it but I didn't expect the feeling of grief I had over losing this camera. That camera was a gift to me by my sweet husband about 5 years ago. That camera was carried around with me and took pictures I wanted my heart to capture. It turns out it was my friend, my eyes, my heart. Who knew something could have such sentimental value? Looking through that lens I caught the beauty of my daughter's ballet recital, my son's birthdays and cub scout adventures, the birth of my youngest son, and so many many more of life's moments. My life. My story. My journey. I've decided that from here on out my life will not be complete unless I have a handy memory capturer with me. Ode to Mr.Cannon. I replaced him with an upgraded one but, I think I'll tuck the other one away. You had a good run old sport.

Our Blue Bell Pilgrimage

We did it. We finally made our pilgrimage to Brenham,TX, home of "The best ice cream in the country." Yes, I speak of none other than Blue Bell. I don't know who was more excited the kids or my husband! My husband loves Blue Bell ice cream and come rain, shine, or diet in the making, we are going to be stocked with some Blue Bell in the freezer.

Did you know that Blue Bell is only sold in 19 states?! How can that be? The madness! That's like saying only 19 states have running and clean water in the U.S. Ok..so a bit of an exaggeration. If we had it our way in this family we'd have Blue Bell and a Taco Bueno in every city in the U.S.A.

We enjoyed the tour, ice cream, and visit to the country store. Another highlight was going to the Southern Flyer diner at the municipal airport in Brenham. A quaint place with some personality and the waitresses wear poodle skirts. The small private planes can be seen from the diner and we enjoyed watching them take off. Great service and very affordable.

If you go to Brenham in hopes of finding these places make sure you look them up before you get there as there are no signs directing you to the Blue Bell factory or the Southern Flyer diner. It's worth the trip. Hope anyone that goes has as much quality fun, family, and friend time as we did. Great day!

Torn Between Two Christmas Meanings

My daughter asked me what my favorite holiday was last night. Always without hesitation I say Thanksgiving. I admit I've gone a little overboard on Halloween but, turkey day is by far the one. "Why not Christmas," she asked. I had to take a long deep breath before I answered that.
The irony of it all is that I'm a believer. I believe Jesus was born and is my saviour. I believe that Mary was a Virgin and that our King was born in a manger. So, what is it that gets me all flustered when I think of Christmas?
Well, quite frankly, I despise the commercialism of it all. I think it's a huge slap in the face of a day of celebration that really belongs to Jesus. Yes, I buy the gifts, I hang the decorations, I hang the stockings and even get giddy about making cookies for Santa with the kids. So, I guess you can say I'm a hypocrite when it comes to my Jekyl and Hyde feelings over this holiday. I love the sights, sounds, and smells of the holiday. To say that it's my favorite holiday would just a baahumbug moment for me. It's self reflecting. It's actually quite stressful. The Christmas I yearn for is the Christmas I had as a child. It went a little something like...we only got one or two presents each under the tree. We visited family without the pressure of buying or giving gifts to any adults. We didn't have much but we had love and occasionally tamales. We had the Christmas story. We even had a real Christmas tree, though small, its smell still brings back warm memories. My hope is that one day I can lay down the burden at the cross when it comes to this holiday that in reality has me pulled in both directions. I think I'm almost there. Each year the burden of having to please everyone gets a little lighter. My husband said he didn't want cookies for "Santa" this year. There's just too many. Ok, well I guess he'll have some birthday cake for Jesus that we leave out for "Santa" instead. I'm guessing "Santa" might like German Chocolate ;) The candle lit being the one that is lit at midnight services. For once I'd like to just be a graceful receiver. I'd like to just kneal before a manger and graciously acknowledge the ultimate gift that has already been given to me and leave it at that. To walk away feeling a bit like the "drummer boy." "I have no gift to bring, that's fit to give a King....pa rum pum pum pum!"