He Had me at Woof Woof!

Do you ever have that feeling...that hunch that something just isn't like it's supposed to be even if you're told otherwise? Ya know what they say..always go with your gut instinct. Well, I've just been punk'd but I sort of already knew I had been. Awhile back we thought it would be nice to add one last dog to our family and have a friend for Rueger our 55 pound Australian Shepherd/Border Collie. Rueger is a very energetic but very intelligent dog. His breed is for herding so why would we expect him to be none other than energetic? He loves.. loves the dog park and plays with all of the dogs out there which affirmed the desire to get another dog. On my first attempt at the pet adoption agency I really wanted an older dog but was informed that a puppy would be best to introduce to an older dog based on the territorial reasons. I left and thought about it some more. The next week...I'm determined to get a puppy and show back up to the adoption agency with Bryant in tow. All my life...I've had bigger dogs but I really wanted that little dog to carry around like the one Reese Witherspoon has in "Legally Blonde." So, I passed all the charts on the cages that said will be 50lbs or more. We made it to this little cage at the bottom of the row. It was full of little chihuahas and I believed it because that's what the chart said and they all looked small enough. Well, there was this one in the corner that looked a little bigger than the litter but, I just thought maybe it was just the biggest one of the group but still no doubt it will not get to be bigger than 20lbs. Bryant and I did the meet and greet and fell in love with him. He was the one! Interestingly, his paperwork couldn't be found. What they printed out had the wrong information on it other than him being a blonde dog. Oddly, he was the only one out of the litter that had been neutered. I had a funny feeling but still wanted the dog. We took him home that day and whenever anyone asked what kind of dog he was I said chihuaha mix..(well, that's what the paperwork said). I got the same looks and laughs..."Looks a little big to be a chihuaha." Ok, fine...so, he's Clifford the chihuaha...he's mine..and I love him..so it doesn't matter. The Vet came into the exam room and immediately asked me if I had been told he was a chihuaha as he laughed. I said yes I had but I had sensed that he was put into the wrong cage during handling by someone else all along. Well, no doubt, he is definitely not a chihuaha mix but a labrador mix and will most likely be over 20 lbs. More like 40 lbs or so. So, my heart just sank a little thinking it might not be the lap dog I've always wanted but it's too late now because he has my heart. At least my gut feeling was put to rest. Such is life...we may not always get what we think we are getting but isn't it funny how sometimes it turns out better than what we thought we wanted anyway? Dare to embrace the blessings of unexpected outcomes from our expectations.

No Time for Door Mat Volunteering

Leadership...not a word to take lightly. Leadership trickles up..it doesn't trickle down I'm afraid. Roles that get the wheels turning start out in small organizations and generally filter in throughout the bigger ones. I was reading an excerpt the other day about volunteerism and why there is such a huge drop in volunteering. The following I'm paraphrasing from the book "The New Breed" until after reason number 7. If we were honest about why we don't volunteer this would really be the top seven reasons why and not because "we just don't have the time." 1. The volunteer leader that doesn't know how to lead 2. No feedback from leadership on how the volunteer was doing 3. The feeling that the volunteer doesn't feel like they are making a difference 4. Lack of professionalism 5. Lack of Communication ( in my opinion this should be number one) 6. Too much time in wasted unproductive meetings 7. No flexibility in scheduling in volunteer opportunities. This all being noted I just want to affirm the reasons above coming from someone that has volunteered many hours and days in different organizations and I can say that the most successful ones have leaders that know how to communicate and follow through. When I sit here and look at these reasons I can also fit that into why people would leave their jobs. Replace the word volunteer and fill in employee and there you have it. I'm frankly at a point in my life where I can just not afford to volunteer or work for any organization that has leadership that cannot communicate effectively. My life has to run like clock work these days with the exceptional unexpected quirks along the way that life will throw my way but I have to pick up, tweak it, and move on. So, without effective communication, a plan, and clear expectations.. three strikes and I'm out. I think I'm being generous on the three strikes though but that's just because I like to also give the benefit of the doubt. "The world is hugged by the faithful arms of volunteers" When good volunteers are lost it's like losing two good arms.

The Letter from My Brother in Christ

Sometimes I ask myself if I really lean and rely on God during the good times as much as I should. I fall to my knees during the bad times and have nowhere else to go but be totally relying on God during those times. T.D. Jakes said it best.."Faith will get down in the ditch with you, faith will go in the prison with you, fatih will go into divorce court with you, faith will go in the hospital with you, faith will go in the nursing home with you." Yes, but the harder thing to remember for me is that Faith will walk beside me everyday no matter what my circumstance. I take advantage of that. I should be laying things down at the foot of the cross daily before I walk out my door. I need to pray the Lord's Prayer when I have no idea what to pray about or how to. Giving thanks right now for my bus driver in elementary school that taught me the Lord's prayer. Ms. Pearl was her name. The first day I got on her van she handed me a little book. She said to memorize it and everyday before we got off of the little white van at school we all prayed and someone different would say the Lord's Prayer. Not only did she introduce me to the gift of a simple prayer from the Man himself for life she honked that horn til the cows came home to make sure I didn't miss my ride to school in the morning. I'm most reflective today of a letter my dad wrote me. He had never written me a letter before but I was going on a retreat that he had gone on some years before and he wanted me to have as great of an experience as he had on his. The letter I got from my dad was treasured then and it's even more so now. It's the only letter I ever received from him. I won't tell you everything that's in it. He talked about the day I was born and how he'd wear some interesting t-shirts to impress my dates..ex. "Texas, where farting is considered a competetive sport." He was quite entertaining. This one phrase struck me though and it brings me comfort. He wrote the following: "Remember that all things work for the best for those that Love the Lord. No matter how hard things get remember we have that to share, and share eternity together. I love you and I will always love you come rain or come shine. Your loving father and brother in Christ." It just doesn't get any better that that. What else is there to say? A simple phrase that speaks volumes. My brother in Christ. You see, he knew that our relationships on earth were more than just mere blood types. He knew that essentially that's what it came down to...being brothers and sisters in Christ.

Dad Update #3

We are on day 5. There has been no change. My dad remains about the same. There was a little bit of an attempt to wean him off of the ventilator yesterday but it didn't go well. No further testing to indicate where we are has been done at this time. Basically, it has been explained to me that we want to make sure we run the good race with him before we can consider anything else. There really isn't a timeline. We are just waiting for doctors to let us know one way or the other which way to go. According to them, it is still too early to tell.
So, in the meantime I'm camping out in Abilene. I've arranged for my little one to be put in daycare here while my two oldest go back to Katy with Toby. I'm staying at my great aunt's house. This is my new normal for awhile. Marcie, has to deal with going home everyday and not seeing my dad there. She asks herself the question, "Do I hang up his pants in the closet or not?" They've lived together for a little while. Her girls and his little dog, Paco Taco miss him greatly. I have a couple of messages from him on my answering machine that I just can't bring myself to listen to right now although I am really really missing his voice. Jamie is flying in from Alaska and will be here in a few hours.
When you hear the old saying, "Well, you just never know," well, it's true. You never know when it will be you. Noone ever said life would be easy. In fact at times it can be a little complicated. Almost like a labrynth's maze. I think it will be awhile til we get out of this maze.

Dad Update #2

There really hasn't been any change. His breathing became pretty hard tonight on the ventilator because he is very agitated yet under sedation. He was putting out a little too much CO2 at the time. The nurse asked that visitors be limited for the next several days. She says that people talking around his bed or touching him may over stimulate him at this time. It is essential that he rest before another checkup is made on Monday. If anyone comes to the hospital it is ok to sit in the room (2 at a time only) but we must remain quiet for now. This is very difficult as we all know what a talker my dad has been. He has never met a stranger. We are hoping to have him stabilized enough that he can undergo some tests on Monday that will give us some indication where we are with things. Unless there are any significant changes I won't update the blog until Monday evening. My dad has been blessed with some really good friends in this life. We are so thankful for that. We have one life....make it count. It doesn't have to be a grand spectacle...just make the things in your life that at the end of the day you know you absolutely value with your soul and not your purse strings count. Hug your family and even when you're crabby with those you love walk away, turn around and smile even if you don't want to at the time. They'll think you're crazy but you're just being unconditional.

Dad Update

It's hard to remember who I've given updates to and who I haven't about my dad. So, I just want to try to give sort of a daily or as I know any new details updates on a brief blog note as we go along.
Bascically, today we were under the impression that my dad would try to be weaned from the vent. Not necessarily because he is doing better but because they don't want him to become dependent on it. Unfortunately, today he was too weak to try to endure the stress of such a task. His heart is currently only pumping at 15 percent which is basically as low as a heart can go with functionality where he stands right now. He is under sedation and at this time the best course of action is to let his body rest to see if any improvements can be made as he recovers from cardiogenic shock. Basically, a bomb went off in his chest and waiting on the dust to settle to see what can be rehabilitated if any. There's lots of permanent damage after a bomb goes off but, sometimes there are things that can come back to life.
So, we sit and we wait and we go at my dad's pace right now. He has to be given the best chance he can get before any really educated prognosis can be made at this time with all variables to consider.
Thank you all for your love, your support, you prayers, thoughts and even some funny stories I've been hearing about my dad lately. If you know my dad then you know the kind of character he is. He's a fighter, a good man, a God loving man, a grandpa, a dad, a wisecrack, and stubborn (which is a good thing to be right now.) You really don't know how comforting it is to know that people are praying for him and our family. It shows community and the peace we all know about the human spirit that can love one another and is kind to one another.

Attn: Astronomers Complaint Department

I've decided that astronomers must have too much time on their hands. One day I am a Capricorn and the next I open the internet news to find I'm a Saggitarius! It's as if I've lived a lie all my life! Imagine waking up one day just to find out you are not who you thought you were.
Daylight savings time gives me a headache and makes me turn to fiber to re-regulate my life ;) As if that wasn't bad enough. Many people are confused enough on how to fill out their taxes, understand congress, using new techno gadgets ( that I cannot keep up with), how to download stuff on social media, and get through 5:oo traffic. As if life wasn't hectic enough some astronomer somewhere decided, hey, let's confuse the world out even more by changing their signs. Well, that just blows me away. I've had jewelry with my birthstone and have seen people where jewelry with their zodiac signs. I don't think jewlers are up to the task for exchanges and I think tattoo artists are going to have to get creative. I've heard several things...it only affects people from 2009 and forward and that might just be. So, now, anyone with my same birthday born since then will be a Saggitarius? How confused those children will be? I can hear it now, "Mommy, since you're a Capricorn...Why can't I be one too?" Then you look at your kid and say, "Well, again, life's not fair."
So, do me a favor astronomers. In a day and time where everyone is struggling enough with their identities in this galactical place called Earth, the next time you make a discovery that will affect possibly let's say, Orion's belt really being light saber...leave it alone. Walk away from the telescope and leave it alone. In the words of Jeff Foxworthy, "Here's your sign!"