How do We Choose our Friends?

I've observed something extraordinary with toddlers. I love how my 2 year old can walk into a room and automatically see people, anybody, and yell out with excitement, "My friends!" I love when toddlers see eachother from a distance without even knowing eachother and run up to one another with a yearning to play and be friendly. A genuine...I have no boundaries approach for just liking the heck out of you! Love it!
I've never been the one that had a lot of friends that were other than surface friendships. I was usually the last one to be picked for the teams and let's not even go through the whole very awkward middle school years. Let's just say, kids can be very mean, as if I'm saying anything new. I remember making a friend, a genuine friend, so I thought. Problem was, she sat at the popular table and I was not one of those popular girls. I remember seeing my friend from across the cafeteria and wanting to go sit with her. She motioned me over and reluctantly I went because I was not welcome in that click. What happened next I will never forget. Two of the head "popular girls" saw that I was sitting at the end of the table visiting with my "friend." They looked at eachother and their other friends and next thing ya know they all got up and moved from the table to another one because I was there. Sad part was, my "friend" went with them. I was crushed. Whatever the reason, my parents didn't make as much money as theirs, I wasn't as cute in big hairbows as they were, I was too shy, conservative, wore non-brand clothes...whatever it was...I think, how sad that's what mattered to them. I picked myself up like I had many times before and moved on but, I made a decision that day. I placed on my heart that I would never be that person that set those kind of boundaries when it came to making friends. What's the saying, "Although, you walk with kings, never lose the common touch." I have friends in high and low places I'm proud to say! If I have a combination of ex-cons and prominent professionals at my funeral...then all I can say is...that's what Jesus would do ;) I have been blessed with some genuine quality friends in my life. For instance, the kind that out of the blue sends me a package in the mail with a plaque in honor of my dad's memory on his birthday that read, "For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of sound mind." II Timothy 1:7 Wouldn't you know it was one of my dad's favorite bible scriptures. I thank God for friends that see me, my quirks, my faults, my success, and failures. They see the whole package and love me for me. You know who you are friends. My list may be short, but my heart for all of you is infinity! I also feel that I really haven't had to go out of my way to make good friends. I've been lucky...somehow I feel as though they've been chosen for me :)

A Good Rain and a Renoir

I had a little time to myself yesterday and thought I'd do a little something for me. I went to the Art Museum by myself. What I found was that I liked going at my own pace and my brain needed the quiet time. I had never been to the Art Museum of Houston. I have to say that coming from someone that can't even draw a good stick figure I'm easily impressed with art, well most of it...I do still have my "what in the world is that" opinions. I come from an impressive gene pool of artists from both sides of my family and how the art gene belly flopped past me...one will never know. I once wanted to learn how to draw so badly I signed up for an art class in H.S. I was never so frustrated in my life when it came to a few of the homework assignments that I never completed or barely even started. Day 2 of art class and I was out! I withdrew so quickly I don't think the teacher had time to call my name during roll call. It's not a fear...it's down right...wish I could...but totally can't...and I'm ok with that. So, as I was strolling painting to painting I admired some of the great details put forth on canvas. Beautiful...to see a little house in the background of a painting with a warm light and smoke coming out of the chimney. Then there's cattle so defined on canvas that was a detail not worth blinking or it would be missed. I found myself wondering how there could be so many interpretations of Madonna and Child and wanting to get into the painter's head to know the story. I also wondered why a lot of women in some of the paintings looked so much like men. Landscapes were my favorite along with a few Renoir. Interestingly, my novice approach to art found me shying away from purchasing tickets to Newton when asked by the sales clerk. I asked.."Hmm...what is that?" Sales Clerk..."Nudes." Blushingly, I responded, "Ahem...well there's got to be plenty to see with general admission, right?" So, off I went. I must say that I was quite impressed with the young group of school children that passed by the statues of very anatomically correct poses without even a giggle. Can't say I didn't find myself not wanting to snicker just a little at times. It was a good day all in all. The rain sprinkles throughout the day added some artsy along the way. Art is such an expression of the way we see things that the world cannot fully express. It's like worlds within our world.

The Scandalous Rubik's Cube

The Rubik's Cube was a hot ticket in the early 80's. I was thrilled when I got one! I remember getting so excited when I would finally get two sides to manage to be the same color. Still, there were two more sides I had yet to conquer. I was six years old and growing ever so impatient. One day I had the master plan to finally get rid of this anxiety I was having over not being able to make all sides their destined little brightly squared colors. The squares were stickers that I learned could be easily manipulated. So, I did it...I managed to carefully remove the stickers and place them all in their properly aligned spaces. I had a successful Rubik's Cube sense of achievement! I remember showing my parent's what I had done except I left out the small detail about me rearranging the stickers. My dad was puzzled but he believed me and was happy for me. I carried that false sense of pride around for a few days until guilt set in. I couldn't understand why I felt so crummy....why Captain Crunch Cereal didn't have the same crunch and playing with my Holly Hobby easy bake oven just seemed to come up flat. I was tormented...and then I knew...I felt it...the Rubik's Cube stared me down and I came face to face with the truth. I had lied. I lied to my parents...I lied to my Dad. The man I put on a pedestal and held with the highest regard and respect. I lied to that man. I felt awful, embarrassed, humiliated, and like I had betrayed my best friend. I knew I couldn't carry this weight anymore so, I marched (ok, inched) down the hallway to face my jury. I fessed up. I told my dad what I had done. The look he gave me was one I will never forget and very impressionable. He looked at me, sighed, and said..."You lied. Melody, I need you to know one thing. Whatever you do in this life and in this world, I need you to always be honest with me. I may not agree with what you have done but, I'm the only one that will always be there for you no matter what you've done. I will fight for you and support you but I need you to always be honest with me." From that day forward I can honestly say that I never lied to my Dad again. I might not have volunteered information to him but when he asked, he always got an honest answer. He always knew if I even tried...I think he always knew about the Rubik's Cube but waited to see if I would say something. I've found myself telling my kids the same thing. Honesty is a foundation for unconditional love. It's hard to be honest sometimes. Can't say that I've been perfect at telling the truth to everyone but, what I can say is that no matter what, the truth really does set you free even if it means just being honest with yourself. My inner six year old turmoil became realigned again and I moved onto bigger and better cereals that included Count Chocula and Atari had Centipede. Life was on track again. I really did accomplish the Rubik's Cube game shortly after my confession but by then the victory didn't seem as as sweet.

Sisterhood of the Traveling Prom Dresses

Lately, while I've been out and about on the weekend I'll notice that our wait time is a little longer at a restaurant due to the glamorous bunch of young uns' in their prom attire or I'll stroll past a Hot Pink or Zebra print limo full of the same kind of group. I started reflecting with a friend of mine about our special occasion dresses. She had the fabulous idea of making pillows out of the material from her dresses. I was impressed with her sentimental approach. I on the other hand have my wedding dress stuffed somewhere in a suitcase and I donated my prom dresses to a thrift store when I was in college. What happened with those prom dresses later became a moment I will never forget.
It was a crazy afternoon and I was running errands in Abilene, TX. I pulled up in a parking lot only to have to stop and wait to let a group of about 8 little girls in tiaras, high heeled shoes that were too big for them, and dresses that were definitely bigger than them but, they had the whole princess theme going. They were clearly celebrating something and dressing up for someone's dress up tea party or such. I not only stopped to let these little girls cross the median....my jaw dropped to my surprise...there were two little girls that were wearing my old prom dresses!! So help me I am not making this up. It had to have been a fate or a "God" thing because never in my wildest dreams would I have expected or planned to run across this very moment! I know they were my dresses because I had each custom made and one of the bows still flopped over Dumbo eared like on the front of the dress! This was before flip camera phones and I wish with all my heart that I would have gotten out and told those little girls that those were my old dresses. I probably would have freaked them out being stranger danger and all.... and besides...this was their moment...their memory...their fun time that they were having with their special friends. I was blessed to see those dresses go from "someone elses junk...to someone else's treasure." :)

My Mini Obsession With the Royal Wedding

Raise your hand if you are tired of hearing about wars, terrorism, and natural disasters that make the tornado from the Wizard of Oz look like a nursery ryhme. Hence..my obsession with the Royal Wedding perhaps. These things don't come around everyday or even once a year like major sporting events. When my husband asked me why in the world I cared about the Royal Wedding I was quick to throw out the word Astros and I think he understood. My daughter asked me yesterday if I were invited would I go and get a new dress and have my nails done? I said of course, beaming as if I really was on the guest list and I think she understood. She said, "Aww...so Prince William can really say to his wife that she's his Princess." We had our girlie moment and giggled about it. Maybe it also has something to do with wanting to see a happy ending to a fairy tale that began a long time ago for a Princess named Diana. I like to think of it as a legacy fairy tale. We can witness a moment in time where her legacy smiles under the sun and will continue to move forward on their own journey. Maybe it's because the last time someone watched a Royal Wedding was when a six year old little girl watched it with her mother on July 29th 1981 with her feet dangling from the couch as she sat in amazement thinking that before her eyes was a real life Cinderella.
I don't know what the future holds for William and Kate. I'm just thrilled that they opened up their moment in time for the rest of us to see. When someone asks..Where were you when...I can reply, I was in my pajamas sipping tea and eating cucumber sandwiches at 4 a.m. watching the Royal Wedding. I hope their day is blessed! "God Save the Queen!"

He Had me at Woof Woof!

Do you ever have that feeling...that hunch that something just isn't like it's supposed to be even if you're told otherwise? Ya know what they say..always go with your gut instinct. Well, I've just been punk'd but I sort of already knew I had been. Awhile back we thought it would be nice to add one last dog to our family and have a friend for Rueger our 55 pound Australian Shepherd/Border Collie. Rueger is a very energetic but very intelligent dog. His breed is for herding so why would we expect him to be none other than energetic? He loves.. loves the dog park and plays with all of the dogs out there which affirmed the desire to get another dog. On my first attempt at the pet adoption agency I really wanted an older dog but was informed that a puppy would be best to introduce to an older dog based on the territorial reasons. I left and thought about it some more. The next week...I'm determined to get a puppy and show back up to the adoption agency with Bryant in tow. All my life...I've had bigger dogs but I really wanted that little dog to carry around like the one Reese Witherspoon has in "Legally Blonde." So, I passed all the charts on the cages that said will be 50lbs or more. We made it to this little cage at the bottom of the row. It was full of little chihuahas and I believed it because that's what the chart said and they all looked small enough. Well, there was this one in the corner that looked a little bigger than the litter but, I just thought maybe it was just the biggest one of the group but still no doubt it will not get to be bigger than 20lbs. Bryant and I did the meet and greet and fell in love with him. He was the one! Interestingly, his paperwork couldn't be found. What they printed out had the wrong information on it other than him being a blonde dog. Oddly, he was the only one out of the litter that had been neutered. I had a funny feeling but still wanted the dog. We took him home that day and whenever anyone asked what kind of dog he was I said chihuaha mix..(well, that's what the paperwork said). I got the same looks and laughs..."Looks a little big to be a chihuaha." Ok, fine...so, he's Clifford the chihuaha...he's mine..and I love him..so it doesn't matter. The Vet came into the exam room and immediately asked me if I had been told he was a chihuaha as he laughed. I said yes I had but I had sensed that he was put into the wrong cage during handling by someone else all along. Well, no doubt, he is definitely not a chihuaha mix but a labrador mix and will most likely be over 20 lbs. More like 40 lbs or so. So, my heart just sank a little thinking it might not be the lap dog I've always wanted but it's too late now because he has my heart. At least my gut feeling was put to rest. Such is life...we may not always get what we think we are getting but isn't it funny how sometimes it turns out better than what we thought we wanted anyway? Dare to embrace the blessings of unexpected outcomes from our expectations.

No Time for Door Mat Volunteering

Leadership...not a word to take lightly. Leadership trickles up..it doesn't trickle down I'm afraid. Roles that get the wheels turning start out in small organizations and generally filter in throughout the bigger ones. I was reading an excerpt the other day about volunteerism and why there is such a huge drop in volunteering. The following I'm paraphrasing from the book "The New Breed" until after reason number 7. If we were honest about why we don't volunteer this would really be the top seven reasons why and not because "we just don't have the time." 1. The volunteer leader that doesn't know how to lead 2. No feedback from leadership on how the volunteer was doing 3. The feeling that the volunteer doesn't feel like they are making a difference 4. Lack of professionalism 5. Lack of Communication ( in my opinion this should be number one) 6. Too much time in wasted unproductive meetings 7. No flexibility in scheduling in volunteer opportunities. This all being noted I just want to affirm the reasons above coming from someone that has volunteered many hours and days in different organizations and I can say that the most successful ones have leaders that know how to communicate and follow through. When I sit here and look at these reasons I can also fit that into why people would leave their jobs. Replace the word volunteer and fill in employee and there you have it. I'm frankly at a point in my life where I can just not afford to volunteer or work for any organization that has leadership that cannot communicate effectively. My life has to run like clock work these days with the exceptional unexpected quirks along the way that life will throw my way but I have to pick up, tweak it, and move on. So, without effective communication, a plan, and clear expectations.. three strikes and I'm out. I think I'm being generous on the three strikes though but that's just because I like to also give the benefit of the doubt. "The world is hugged by the faithful arms of volunteers" When good volunteers are lost it's like losing two good arms.