This week in Christmas, Ho Ho to the HO HO HO!

The tree is up...has been for a week and I still haven't put any decorations on it.  I have Santa hats on my dining chairs but my tablecloth still screams Happy Thanksgiving!.  Bronchitis, croup, dental fillings, pharmacy phone tag, and a partridge  in a pear tree called health insurance has made a week off from work quite not what I had thought it was going to be.
I'm planning on taking my daughter to a funeral for a childhood friend.  The whole thing just makes me sad and mad. Parents shouldn't be allowed to go through the worst hell on earth like that.  Oh, I've had lots of talks with God about things like that.  I see a lot of stuff that makes me just go, Ugh...really, God? Really!? I heard a sermon the other day about being cynical in our faith and I have to admit there are times I go there.  I can be cynical. There are days I just throw my hands up in the air and just say, "Ya know, God is God...I am done trying to make sense of the Man!" Isn't that what He told Moses anyway, he said, "I Am Who I Am." Ok, well, that still doesn't answer the question, is what I want to say but guess what..."I Am Who I Am" has to be good enough.
I used to think that when we died we'd know all the answers to everything.  I don't know if that's true anymore. Honestly, there are things I'd rather not know and if God's will is on earth as it is in Heaven then I'm not really sure we are meant to ever know all the answers. If heaven is what it's claimed to be...I don't think we'll care, really.
So, where does this leave me.  Thankful I got a fake poinsettia at Bunco the other night, that's for sure!  With the rate I'm getting the Christmas thing going a real poinsettia would not have stood a chance in this house.  Makes me want to go ahead and fill out the survey for the pizza place for a free Crazy Bread, not stress over not finding Rudolph stamps, stay in my pajamas even if I go to Wal-Mart today, leave Santa milk and tofu instead of cookies because I'm still bitter I never got a pink Barbie car for Christmas (Barbie had to ride on top of the Little People School Bus to pick up her friends for crying out loud!), and I hope that my silverware from last year that was packed in a box during the move will finally pop up in the Christmas decorations box! Oh, and if anyone has hidden my Feliz Navidad singing Chihuaha as they have in years past...well, guess what...I'm not in the mood. We are having a Feliz Navidad with the chihuaha or there's no Christmas at all. Good Day!

Freshly Squeezed

Awhile back I was walking toward my car and caught a glimpse of stacked boxes once filled with oranges.  They were used for the freshly squeezed orange juice they had on their menu.  Freshly squeezed, now there's a blog post, I thought.  I began to think about how day in and day out there are little things that just make me feel that kind of tension. The tension of having to just squeeze out a little bit more of the good stuff out of me when I feel like I'm down to my last drop. It's so much better to handle being squeezed when I'm refreshed!
Everything from not forgetting the lunch money for the kids, washing underwear because everyone's about out, forgetting my dog at the groomers (yes, it's happened) not because I wanted to but because life just gets so busy and chaotic sometimes that I plain just get swept away in the details of something else that I forget to look at my watch.  Thankfully, my dog groomer was forgiving and waited after closing time for me to pick up my beloved fluffy old man of a dog. 
Sometimes I work 8 days straight without a day off, I have to get up in the middle of the night and go to someone's house because their loved one has passed away...then get up and still be at work at eight o'clock the next morning in ironed clothes and combed hair.  Sometimes, I cry along with the families....watching a mother bury her child or a spouse that has lost their best friend for over 50 years and now they are just lost without them, going to a hospital to pick up an infant while others are rejoicing over their blessed births, seeing lives being taken by cancer, Alzheimer's, Lou Gehrig's, special needs, drug overdoses, car accidents, suicides, the list goes on and on...well this can all just weigh a little bit. I love my job...don't get me wrong...I love serving families and friends...but I have found that I can only be my best when I am freshly squeezed. This goes for my personal life as well.  I'm a better mom and wife if I just can get a little break every now and then. 
What does this mean for me? This means...having a sense of humor.  Most of you that know me know that my sense of humor is a little nuts so to speak...it's a great escape though.  This means...taking a few days off and just doing a few things for myself in conjunction with the catching up with the things I need to get done in my personal life...hence finally catching up on the laundry and bathing the dog. This means loving on my family and friends.  A great night of bunco always helps or even lunch with a friend!  A great night at the movies with you and your teenage daughter laughing at all the parts that are supposed to be serious helps.  A call from my sisters telling me about their daily adventures, drinking coffee, planning a little getaway, and reading a good book...these are things that always help me.
So, when it comes time to face the challenges of work and life...I feel like I'm able to be freshly squeezed. The people I love and serve are able to get the good stuff down to my last drop. Have you taken some time out of the craziness of your life to re-energize yourself, refresh yourself, and regroup yourself in order to be freshly squeezed?  Don't forget to do so.  I think we're all a little more tolerable and more valuable when we do. That's why freshly squeezed is a little higher than the concentrate. You're worth it.

Mel's Random Christmas Thoughts

Mel's Random Christmas Thoughts:

Shopping for teenagers...Ugh...just throw cash in the air Christmas morning and have them catch and run with it to the nearest shopping mall.

Pokémon cards are really not that easy to find.

I wish we could all get the feeling of "If I don't get so and so something for Christmas" they'll hate me out of our thinking.  Do for the kids only...I say. Everyone else over 18...get a job and get your own gifts. Christmas shouldn't be about obligation. If you have crossed that bridge of no guilt Christmas gift giving...Congrats!  (This excludes charitable giving to adults and children)

Inflatable Nativity Scenes....I'm trying to like this...not quite there...but hey...I'm keeping an open mind.  It's better than the plumbing company I saw display a Santa Sleigh made out of painted brown toilets with decorated reindeer antlers. No lie...so help me sometimes I click my heels to go to Kansas....for moments like that.

New Christmas Carols would be nice.  Renditions of the Oh' Holy Night over and over again...c'mon...surely someone can write a good memorable Christmas song these days.  Why doesn't anyone?  No one roasts chestnuts anymore. Rudolph should have automatic lights by now. Clap on clap off...Go Rudolph! I mean really. 

Quit making Santa skinny!! He's fine just the way he is.

Tinsel..I've never used it.  Apparently, it's something cats like and it makes the litter box festive.

Know that it's ok to miss your loved ones at Christmas.  Pretending to be happy can be so draining.  Do what you have to do and don't feel guilty about it.  Enjoy the season in spurts if you have to. There is no right or wrong way to do the Holidays.

Jesus...I think about his mom, Mary, this time of year. I know...technically it's not really his birthday and all...but I can't help but really wonder about her sometimes.  I would love to know what raising him was like. Did he have colic...did he get sick and she was there for him...was he a little rebellious as a kid...? Did she keep a diary? 

I may not be a perfectionist at Christmas...I don't do the elf on the shelf (although, I think I'd have way too much fun with it).  I don't wrap presents...I stuff them in bags with tissue paper...I decorate half purposeful...online shopping is my saving grace....making cookies for Santa...comes out of the Oreo's box nowadays...and I've lost count on how many days til Christmas it is.  One thing I do know is that I still love this time of year.  Friends, family, love, and peace on earth (even if it's wishful thinking)...and a gift wrapped in swaddling clothes...who was later wrapped in a seamless robe upon the cross...that's what it means to me.  Whatever it means to you...so be it...have a Blessed Holiday! A little Peace and Joy doesn't hurt anyone. 

Peace and prayers to Christians in countries that aren't allowed to even speak of Christ.

Second Place Joy

I hear frequent eulogies.  Most recently I heard one that finally put a phrase into the kind of joy that is difficult to really describe without it sounding like someone is a push over. We live day in and day out in a competitive world. Those that sit back and watch and cheer from the sidelines are often not given the credit they deserve. What if some people define success entirely differently? What if simplicity and soul comfort are really the only things someone desires to be happy? What if the happiness of others is really something that brings joy to someone? How do you describe these people?  They or we are the people of "second place joy." 

Second place joy! That's it..."The Wind Beneath My Wings" description. 
We may not all be too far from that.  Outside of goals and achievements from ourselves we all have a second place joy. Think about it:

You watch your child achieve more than you could ever have. (it makes you happy)
You give to the needy (it makes you happy)
You root for the underdog...and they win (it makes you happy)
You give when you don't have much really to give (it makes you happy)
You support someone else's dream (it makes you happy)
You sacrifice your own wants for someone else's (it makes you happy)

Fill in the blank....when we put others before ourselves and it makes us happy....second place joy. I like it.  Second place let's you win. There's the joy.

Reese's, A Fishing Rod, Grace, and Namaste....These are a A Few of my Funeral Things

I recently had a friend tell me I should journal about my funeral directing journey. I have often thought about this because I mostly want to do it for my kids...so they can have some sort of idea of what their mother was like or did outside of the laundry someday ;)  Without ever trespassing on any one's privacy I would love to share with them things that really teach me more about living than about death in this business.  Here are just a few examples I have so far.
I once had a lady come in before her father's funeral and express to me how important it was that a Folger's bucket that held her daddy's fishing poles be displayed during the service. It was important to the grand kids as they had just gone fishing with their grandpa the week before his passing and I thought it was just a lovely gesture. There was a fishing tackle box with his picture on it also and I have to hand it to talented, amazing florists for making an easel of flowers that had mini fishing rods attached to it. Fishing with grandpa became a memory but oh, what a Fish story of love that ended up being.
Then there was a whole flight squadron that came in their uniforms to the funeral for a young son of one of their own.  I lost my composure a little bit....I'm telling you it was hard to hold back the tears.  Every man and woman in their neatly pressed uniforms and polished shoes. Such a feeling of respect and admiration could not help but be felt that day and what a beautiful expression of support for the family that was.
Then there was the graveside service for a lady who always had soda pop handy in her fridge when company came over to visit because that's what people used to do you see....we used to visit...not text...and we had soda pops.  I mention her because her son had a violin player play "Amazing Grace".  It was the most beautiful "Amazing Grace" I have ever heard. It was played on a drizzly overcast morning at the graveside and I felt surely this woman had arrived safely to her resting place and I couldn't help but feel like she was having a soda pop with her Creator...just visiting.
Recently, as I walked into a chapel there was a bowl of Reese's peanut butter cups set out by a family,  tempting the chocolate addict in me.  I thought that if we don't get this service going soon I'm going to eat that whole bowl of peanut butter cups, try to explain it to the family, and then get fired all in the name of chocolate!  Their mother/grandmother had a favorite candy and they never saw her without them. She loved Reese's cups and so they thought it would be a great gesture to offer them to people who came into the service in her honor.  I thought it was precious...devilishly tempting...but just precious.
I did have a blessed opportunity to attend a Buddhist service.  I just share this because I love the diversity I get to be involved with in what I do. I say diversity but, we all have the same emotions.   My embalming instructor in school was Buddhist...and I always really enjoyed our discussions.  See, it took someone different from me to teach me a little something about what I love.  So, I end with this quote, "It is better to spend one day contemplating the birth and death of all things than a hundred years never contemplating beginning and ending." Buddha
Go fishing with your Grandpa....make an honorable military gesture...have a day where you eat nothing but chocolate and don't feel guilty about it....feel "Amazing Grace"  throughout your life and Namaste!!

When the Begats and the Whydats are Wearisome

Sometimes, I get frustrated reading the Bible.  Recently, I had a moment where I just had to close the book and have a talk (prayer) with the Lord.  In my reflection I expressed that I had trouble with a lot of the begats, whodats, what'sthat, how'sthat, whichdats, and whydats, of the Bible.  Sometimes, I don't know where to start or stop. Ok, that happens all the time. When I find something I like I later learn that based on someone's interpretation that it was actually a letter to so and so and not really written to me.  I finally decided to get to basics.  Basic...I'm born naked...without any mode of survival other than what those around me give me and nurture me with.  The bible I learned in the Sunday School of my youth is an entirely different one that I learned from the studies of my adulthood.  I had to take the Old Testament and New Testament classes in college....made a D for passing in Old and a B in New. Ask me to name all the books of the bible in order....I can't do it....ask me where to find a lot of biblical stories....can't do it.  I can tell you John 3:16-17 and quote many others without the chapter and the verse.  Ask me why the bible says what it does and why many characters seem really nutty....I can't tell you.  All I know is before I was old enough to realize that the bible actually had a historical depth to it as to writers of the books and the reasons behind it, Ms. Pearl, my bus driver to elementary school in Houston, TX picked me up one morning...she gave me a book that was the Lord's Prayer....and I would get a pickle if I could recite it or for good behavior.  I can tell you that before my mother, Alma, died she would go to dialysis treatments full of doubt in God and if it weren't for a lady that took care of her at that treatment center and prayed with her and gave her comfort, she would have lost the strength of faith and hope.  I can tell you that there are people that I run into that don't overthink what the bible says...they feel it...they know that their relationship with God is real because it is inherent within them.  Many times they are better equipped spiritually than the one that overthinks the context of the bible.  Prove to me that the love we feel for other people in our lives is strictly based on science, that appreciation for art, nature, music,whatever, is strictly moving something other than the soul then I really don't have much defense when it comes to spirituality. I don't need a scripture to throw in someone's face to prove otherwise. We all have our own spiritual journey.  I am at peace with not knowing all the answers and with taking a break away from the details that get in the way of a relationship with God.  It is my belief that at the hour of my death....there will not be a grumpy old troll asking me to quote scripture beyond my comprehension in order to pass through the pearly gates.  In fact, I don't know what will happen but then to paraphrase someone, "I don't remember being anxious or knowing what happened at birth."  Whatever your journey with your soul...in depth or not...be kind to yourself...don't let arrogance get in the way of having to have the answers you want and don't feel you have to constantly prove yourself or your existence.  Be you and most importantly...Be love.

Weddings, Abilene, Hair, and Politics

Sometimes, I have all these random thoughts that I just can't narrow it down to just one topic to write about in a blog so, the following has no flow or rhyme and reason...just some thoughts I've pondered on recently.

Excited about my sister's wedding.  I love weddings.  I cry at them...judge the bridesmaids attire ;), love the cakes, the flowers, and most importantly the exchanging of vows. It's in that one moment when vows are exchanged that makes me fall in love with true love all over again, a promise to one another that to seek the best for each other is worth a sacrifice of self.  In the vows...there is no.."Your job is to make me happy...buy me a yacht or win the lottery....you better put your own clothes away....look like you did when you were 20 for the rest of your life....serve me or else." In fact, it is just the opposite...vows that express a desire to give the other one love in the good and bad times...in the grey hair days, bald head days, and better than Donald Trump hair days.  It's not about where the world has gone wrong with these vows....I'm not an expert in marriage...still trying to figure the whole thing out. I have no say in how people should live their lives as a married couple...whatever. I just simply like the vows exchanged at weddings that are truly an expression of what love is meant to be about.  The way we preach day in and day out about how we want social justices in the world etc. Unconditional...dragged through the poop and swimming in the crystal clear oceans kind of love.

I love Abilene!  I was driving down Buffalo Gap Rd. the other night in the rain.  A rare time when there was no one on the road but me.  I never thought I'd come back here and in fact it was never a goal to come back.  I remember when I was young I told my Dad, "I can't wait to move to a big city and get out of this town."  My Dad took offense and rightly so.  Driving down the road that night I felt this huge burden lifted off of my shoulders that I'd been carrying around for awhile and didn't even realize it.  It's where I need to be in this season of my life for sure.

Getting my hair done has been an experience in this town.  I decided at the end of the day to try the local beauty school.  The students need the practice and I guess I was brave and cheap.  While my hair turned out fine....the last thing you ever want to hear while your hair is covered in gunk is, " Oh my God...I am so sorry."  I turned pale but in the end...it was a very minor timing issue and not one that would have ruined my hair. Thank you Lord!!

People's political devotions and intolerances are getting on my nerves.  I  am not perfect and I know I have posted my share of different opinions but when people cannot tolerate each other's differences especially after they go on and on about their own...it just irks me.  So, fine...say what you want about not preaching God whatever but then the next social media post or language has to do with political indoctrination. In my opinion...religion and politics hate each other because they are exactly alike.

Well, blogs aren't supposed to be novels so I'll save more of my thoughts for another day.