When the Begats and the Whydats are Wearisome

Sometimes, I get frustrated reading the Bible.  Recently, I had a moment where I just had to close the book and have a talk (prayer) with the Lord.  In my reflection I expressed that I had trouble with a lot of the begats, whodats, what'sthat, how'sthat, whichdats, and whydats, of the Bible.  Sometimes, I don't know where to start or stop. Ok, that happens all the time. When I find something I like I later learn that based on someone's interpretation that it was actually a letter to so and so and not really written to me.  I finally decided to get to basics.  Basic...I'm born naked...without any mode of survival other than what those around me give me and nurture me with.  The bible I learned in the Sunday School of my youth is an entirely different one that I learned from the studies of my adulthood.  I had to take the Old Testament and New Testament classes in college....made a D for passing in Old and a B in New. Ask me to name all the books of the bible in order....I can't do it....ask me where to find a lot of biblical stories....can't do it.  I can tell you John 3:16-17 and quote many others without the chapter and the verse.  Ask me why the bible says what it does and why many characters seem really nutty....I can't tell you.  All I know is before I was old enough to realize that the bible actually had a historical depth to it as to writers of the books and the reasons behind it, Ms. Pearl, my bus driver to elementary school in Houston, TX picked me up one morning...she gave me a book that was the Lord's Prayer....and I would get a pickle if I could recite it or for good behavior.  I can tell you that before my mother, Alma, died she would go to dialysis treatments full of doubt in God and if it weren't for a lady that took care of her at that treatment center and prayed with her and gave her comfort, she would have lost the strength of faith and hope.  I can tell you that there are people that I run into that don't overthink what the bible says...they feel it...they know that their relationship with God is real because it is inherent within them.  Many times they are better equipped spiritually than the one that overthinks the context of the bible.  Prove to me that the love we feel for other people in our lives is strictly based on science, that appreciation for art, nature, music,whatever, is strictly moving something other than the soul then I really don't have much defense when it comes to spirituality. I don't need a scripture to throw in someone's face to prove otherwise. We all have our own spiritual journey.  I am at peace with not knowing all the answers and with taking a break away from the details that get in the way of a relationship with God.  It is my belief that at the hour of my death....there will not be a grumpy old troll asking me to quote scripture beyond my comprehension in order to pass through the pearly gates.  In fact, I don't know what will happen but then to paraphrase someone, "I don't remember being anxious or knowing what happened at birth."  Whatever your journey with your soul...in depth or not...be kind to yourself...don't let arrogance get in the way of having to have the answers you want and don't feel you have to constantly prove yourself or your existence.  Be you and most importantly...Be love.