Random thoughts from a Mortuary Student

On my journey to becoming a funeral director/embalmer I've thought about a few things. Isn't it ironic that in death we are all equal?  Death doesn't pick favorites, could care less about what social class we are in, how old we are, who we worship, who we love, who we voted for, and the list goes on.  I think it's interesting that the only thing that separates us in our perceived notions of what is good and what is bad is before we are born and when we die. It's the in between we call and accept as a life that we can see, that we can grasp, it's our reality because why?...Because we can see and feel it.  From the moment we are born we are in some way or another classified. Is it human nature or a flaw in our nature?  Some are born to riches and some are born to poverty and then there's those in between folks, like myself.  We become dependent on our surroundings and cling to those who nurture us along the way. Most often, adopting a lot of the same ideals and philosophies as those we are in closest contact with.  Everything we sense with our senses becomes intertwined with what's within us and how we process that becomes our reality and our perception. Why does it become so important for us to out class each other or rather out do each other?  I think the answer is simple. It is instinct.  I like to think of a line from Steel Magnolias when Clarie says, " The only thing that separates us from the animals is our ability to accessorize."  How does instinct survive?  Look at the lion and it doesn't take much to figure out that even he in the most natural of places in the world is, "King of the Jungle."  I can't tell you for certain what goes on before life and after death in an intangible aspect.  I think that's an individual journey.  What I wonder is who really does get the last laugh? The "King of the Jungle" will die one day and then what? Well, maybe Mufasa said it best, "  Yes, Simba, but let me explain. When we die, our bodies become the grass, and the antelope eat the grass. And so we are all connected in the great Circle of Life."

Adopting a Senior Dog

I was the one who laughed at people that cooked for their dogs. Then, one day...I found myself cooking ground hamburger meat for mine as a special treat. I even gave him his own chicken breast cut up into small pieces when I cooked a meal for the family. Who in the world had I become?! I am now one of those crazy "animal lovers" I had alwys poked fun at.

Once upon a time...I thought maybe we have been doing this dog thing all wrong. We would start off with a cute puppy and then said puppy would chew on everything including ripping off my screens on my windows. Puppies are a lot of work. Big puppies are even a lot more work. So, it dawned on me. Old dogs are past that puppy phase and so why not give it a try.

So, I loaded up the kids one day and headed to the pound. I was hoping to get a tamed, fat, lazy dog that I had seen in an ad the day before that was at the pound. I knew the kids would be scared walking into the area where the bigger dogs were because they all barked and it was a little unneerving and scary. I thought I'd warm them up in the puppy room clearly indicating we weren't getting a puppy. My daughter has never been a lover of pets. When I tell you that she passed by little chihuahas and puppies without even a sense of, "Oh, how cute!" that is true. Then, there was this little scrawny Maltese that looked at Amber and it was unlike anything I had ever seen. It was love at first sight!! Amber begged and begged and I knew it would be a hard sell to her Dad who wanted an older but bigger dog. Long story short...Amber won (Daddy's girl).

We learned that Frosty's owner had died and Frosty had nowhere to go. We also learned he was a Senior Dog, a little over 10 years old. He is set and spoiled in his ways. I'm sure he knows my every thought ;) He is the best lap dog and cuddle in bed dog ever! If he thinks you are taking him out for a walk he starts chasing his tail in circles. He makes you cook for him sometimes ;)

I often wonder about his previous owner. It is obvious this person loved and cared very much for this dog. The dog has trained us and not the other way around. I wonder if Frosty misses his owner sometimes. I'm convinced he does. Adopting a Senior Dog has been the best thing our family has done pet wise. People ask, "aren't you worried he'll die on you soon?" I've been told that I'm "Doggy Hospice" adopting a much older dog. The answer is, no, I think more people should adopt older dogs. They deserve to live out the rest of their lives in happy homes. Just because they're old doesn't mean their time has passed. My "Old Dog" is very wise. He's like Yoda Dog.

Consider adopting an older pet. They're more interested in cuddles than doing strange things to your leg. Besides, it's kind of fun saying, "Shady Pines" when he does something he's not supposed to be doing like leaving a little gift on the rug on occasion big enough for "Google Earth" to see, so my husband says.

So, How is Funeral Directing School Going?

I am always being asked how school is going?  Yes, funeral directing school.  I always find it awkward when I reply, "It's going well..or great!"  A part of me feels like I should be saying it in a tone that is more reserved or sad since after all, funerals aren't often thought of as happy occasions. While we do pause and celebrate the lives of those we loved that have passed on it is still an emotional area that brings us to tears. The truth is though, I really am enjoying what I'm studying.  I am taking a total of 6 classes right now.  My hardest yet most fascinating one is Anatomy.  I just appreciate the whole intricacies and little details that make up who we are.  I mean, ventricles in the brain and cerebrospinal fluid just mind boggles me that such care and thought went into our creation! Call me weird...I have just a much better appreciation about these things than I did when I was taking biology in HS and College.  My other current favorite class is the Types of Funeral Services and Ceremonies class.  I have so far covered ceremonies of Mormons, Orthodox, Episcopalian, Roman Catholic, Church of Christian Science, and Jewish.  Amazing I say! Just getting a glimpse into the rites these denominations perform has made me realize how much I really just don't know.  While I see that bantering back and forth on social media etc. about how bad any religion is (mostly Christians on social media) I just have to ask myself, "Do people really take the time to get to know someone else's perspective before bashing hate towards anything that affects one's soul?"  Religion practices are medicine for people's soul regardless of what anyone believes in.  There is an invisible line of respect there that I believe is a boundary we must not cross.  My job will allow me the opportunity to console and help people of all different faiths and walks of life.  A funeral is a place where I would never dare to cross a line in suggesting anyone must believe in anything other than what they believe in to get to heaven.  After all, I really don't have any concrete answers. Does anyone?  It is not my place to be dictator of any one's truth.  I have a slew of other funeral rites to study but have found what I've been learning so far to be very humanitarian.  So before we're so sure we know where anyone else is coming from or certain that what anyone believes is "wrong" take a minute and remind ourselves, "we don't really know everything about anything."

The Garbage Man Can

My three year old has an infatuation with being a trash man.  In fact, for his 4th birthday he wants it to be garbage can themed.  Wish me luck with that.  He tells everyone he wants to be a garbage man when he grows up.  Our family and friends have embraced his enthusiasm by giving him toy trash trucks, magnets with Waste Management symbols on them, and his very own trash cans.  He will load them up with toys and pretend he's picking up garbage. Ever since he was old enough to notice the big dump truck come through our neighborhood to pick up trash he has just loved it!  He knows that every Tuesday and Friday are trash days.  He has been rolling out the trash cans since he was two years old...because he wants to...not because we make him! One is about his size so...it's all his own.  The garbage men will honk and wave at him when they see him waiting by the trash to get picked up.  Bryant will dance and jump in excitement when he sees them and tells them "Thank You!!" in the greatest voice ever!  Lately, we've been giving them water bottles to drink since it has been just so hot outside.  Bryant wasn't out to greet the trash men today because he was somewhere else this morning but the garbage men made it known that his presence was missed.  They emptied our trash cans and placed them neatly beside our garage door this morning instead of leaving them by the curb.  Never underestimate the power of being Simply Kind!!  Jesus said, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these."

We Are Who We Are

I don't have much patience when it comes to waiting in long store lines.  It doesn't make it any easier when you have a toddler pulling things off the shelves and running around like he drank 2 large energy drinks!  Of course, there are the people that stare at me as if  I can't control my child and I should be ashamed and then there are the ones that giggle on the sidelines as if they read every "Denace the Menace" comic strip and find my distress amusing. I finally felt at one point that I was in control. My child was calm somewhat and I waited my turn. A man in front of me proceeds to turn around and just say, "We are who we are...wouldn't you agree?" "Well, of course." I said.  Not knowing where he was going with this he proceeds to explain to me that I shouldn't worry about my child's behavior. He feels that he is just expressing himself from a past life that he has had. He really believed that my child was a former World War II soldier. He asked me what my thoughts were on past lives. Well, what I really wanted to say was something like, umm...I have no idea in the world what you are talking about and please mind your own business but, I found myself engaging in his conversation by responding, "Hmm...well, yes of course I've seen some documentaries about what you're talking about." What in the world just came out of my mouth I thought! Did I just say what I thought I said?! Yes, I did. He was a friendly eccentric soul. I can't say that our conversation really continued to make much sense to me but hey, I think it was way more interesting than, "How's the weather" small talk.  When he left he walked back toward me and said, "Do me a favor...before he goes to sleep at night ask him who he is...he'll tell you."  "Ok, well you take care now." I replied. So, before he went to bed that night I leaned over and asked my son, "Who are you?" He replied, "I'm Bryant." "No really, who are you?" I asked. "I'm Bryant Dagenhart." He said. Whew...He is who he is!

A View From the Bottom

When I was a little girl it didn't take much to find the little miracles in life. I remember the day I read the newspaper for the first time and how excited I was, when I learned how to swim in the "deep end" from the lady that wore different colored sunscreen on her nose, and when I learned how to do a cartwheel for the first time with sudden grand hopes of becoming Nadia Comaneci. There is one vivid memory that I've often wondered why it really has much significant meaning to me. My dad pulled up into a tall building in Houston, TX. He had to go inside and take care of something I thought would be boring and all grown up so he let me stay in the car outside to wait for him. I remember while I was waiting I started to look around and then I looked up. I had contorted my head outside the passenger window to get a better look above. I became fascinated with how tall the building we were parked in front of was. I began to observe how the clouds barely touched the top of the building. There was something splendorous about it in my mind of a child. It reminds me that in those times when I'm so anxious to get to the top of the building to see the view from the top not to forget that there's just as much beauty from the perspective of just tilting my head. Finding the splendor in life doesn't have to be so complicated.