The Memory of their Presence during the Holidays

I drove past a shopping center the other day that had already put out all of their Christmas Holiday decorations. I couldn't find the enthusiasm. Since losing my dad I have dreaded this holiday season. We didn't spend every holiday together but it just felt a little more warm knowing he was still around. The holidays are a bittersweet reminder of holiday memories long gone. I miss the gathering of my family around the dinner table making tamales, laughing, and sharing life together. I had an aunt that told me once when I was visiting her in Monterrey, MX after my mom's passing, "The warmth of family is like a fireplace and will always bring you here." She was right. I haven't been back in over 15 years but my heart always travels back to the sights and sounds of my mother's soul there. I miss the many decorations and enthusiasm my Mom, (Beth) had for the holidays. It was her favorite holiday. I still remember the deviled eggs and pimento cheese sandwhiches we'd have at my grandparents house when we opened up presents. She loved to shop. She could out shop anyone. We wouldn't buy everything....we would just shop for everything. She loved giving to others. We had to have baked at least 25 7-up cakes one year to give out to friends and family. My Christmas flare in no way will ever compare to hers but I loved that about her! Every holiday my grandma served her infamous green jello! I have tried to replicate it over the years and I'm pretty sure it turns out more like the jello served in the movie, "Christmas Vacation" ...the jello made with dry cat food. My dad just loved the simplicity of it all. He pretty much just showed up and enjoyed the atmosphere. One Christmas Eve when I was little I remember waking up at around 1 a.m. and I ran into the living room of my grandma's house. I saw presents and my Dad and his brother were visiting in the living room. I looked at my dad in bewilderment and asked him why in the world didn't he wake me up when Santa dropped off the toys?! He and my uncle gave me some story about how he got to the house and just left everything there but he had to go really fast to deliver all the toys to other kids. I was mad. I truly held a grudge against my dad that Christmas for not waking me up to see Santa. Funny how he would rather me be mad at him than to have let me know the truth about there not really being a Santa. He took the hit for my childhood imagination. Although there are some that will be dearly be missed this holiday season I have to remember that I am the memory that my kids will someday hopefully share and I want to take the hit for Santa also. If you are missing a dear one this holiday season my prayer is that the warmth of memories and new ones made will make you feel like you are nestled by a cozy fireplace. Have a blessed holiday season my friends. Peace unto all of you!